Flowers in the Snow

I have a friend that was in the hospital during the same time my mom was in the hospital.  They roomed next to each other on the 7th floor.  Oncology floor.  She is faced with the same daily thoughts that my mom faced.  Grace and dignity during a time of questions and concerns is so amazing.  Witnessing the walk with them, allows me to gather flowers in the snow.  How can their brave hearts bear so much?  They see life as fragile, simple and precious.  They address every day with a brave face deserving of a badge of honor.  It is such a helpless feeling knowing that the only thing I have to offer is love.  Love DOES conquer all.  My mom died peacefully at home surrounded by love, six days after she left the hospital.  Her spirit never wavered, she looked forward to celebrating her life, as she explained to me.... The Celebration of life Mass that she requested was not to celebrate the life she had already lived,  it was in celebration of the life she was crossing into.  Eternal life.  She is with me every day helping me adjust to life without her in the physical world.  My girlfriend?  She and I talk about that same eternal life,  as emotional as it all becomes, the word "life" continues to be the commonality.  Live a life of Love and you will Love the Life you live.

Page Fright

Funny how my mind runs continuous thoughts.  Funnier when I start a new post all of the thoughts stop.  I will call this PAGE fright.  Maybe I should use this technique in the middle of the night when my mind won't quit racing.  Perfect!  Problem solved.  Sweet dreams.

Be happy

Do you ever wonder why so many souls feel unrest?  It is so easy to see, but so hard to understand.  Wonder what the measurement of success has to do with it?  Seems like that has become such a constant in our lives.  SUCCESS... how many ways can that be described?  One word that seems to cover it all comes to mind.  Happy.    Be happy

Heaven Sent

Cathy Conway Shaw

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Jun 15, 2014

Something told me to look up into the sky on  Father's day.  This is the view from my backyard.  Can you see the heart, shaped by the tree leaves?  It was hard to capture in a picture because as the wind blew it changed the branches.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  Thanks mom,  I love you too and I will continue to look up, even on the days that I am feeling down.  I call this picture my message from above.  I received this message on Father's day weekend with my dad sitting next to me while he repeatedly asked me where my mom was. "She's in heaven dad." That is my repeated answer to that repeated question.   He has dementia, his perspective is unique, his thoughts are fleeting, but there is always a kernel of memory that springs from his mouth that allows me to believe that God has found a way to protect my dad from the pain that weighs heavy on our hearts after a loved one crosses over.  He has lived  a life of giving and in the craziest of ways he has been given the gift of not remembering the day or the reality that my mom crossed over.

What's New

Cathy Conway Shaw

Shared publicly  -  Jun 30, 2014

Everything is new.  New day, new outlook, new rekindled friendships.  I lost my mom a little over a month ago and I am just coming out of the fog of the realization that that I am now part of the club.  I always wondered how someone could lose a loved one and continue to carry on.  It seems so unnatural at first but with the belief in the journey and the faith that there is something more than the physical world all things are possible.  The last thing my mom said to me the night before she crossed over, and we were lucky enough to know the time was near... was... that we needed to pick a meeting place.  I asked her where she wanted to meet?   She picked my kitchen.  Depending on the weather,  we would meet in my cabana on days that the weather was nice, and in my kitchen on days when the weather was not so nice.  I love my mom,  I love my kitchen and I love the blessing of our continued connection.  She sends me messages to help heal my wounded soul.  The picture above was my first message from her.  It lay on a pathway in my yard in the middle of a bunch of river rock.  How she found a heart shaped rock and was able to place it along my path is beyond me.  It lifted my spirit in a way that at that moment only she could.  Thanks mom, I will continue to stay on the right path and follow my heart.